Head Check

I was in a terrible mood earlier. I'm still sort of blue. I love the new job. It's awesome, and I think that's why I'm depressed.

I mean, I was laid off and found a job in nine days, and was working within 14 days. Who does that, huh? And it's a good job. It's the kind of job that one could stand back, scratch their chin, and ponder "What would be the most perfectest job for Steff right now?" and it'd be what I'm doing. No problem.

And so I get totally depressed right afterwards. What's that about?

It's a dead mom thing. I'm so frickin' high on what I've accomplished and how right it is for me and what crazy ass luck of timing and circumstance it all is that I wish like all hell Mom was around to have a "I'm so proud of you, honey!" moment, you know? I'm sure Dad's bragging and stuff, but I just miss my mom a lot right now. I'm glad I've figured it out. She's always on my mind in February, anyhow. Birthdays and bad anniversaries, y'know.

But it'll fade away in a day or so. I like my new job, I really do. I think I've just hit a wall of emotion -- a lot of pride, being unable to share it, lots of childhood memories in a place I used to spend a lot of time as a toddler, where I now work with kids, and all that. It's a heady week. But good accomplishments. I just need time to adjust.

Talk about your February blahs, though. I'll be happier in March when I'm not staring at the reality that I'm now riding my scooter FURTHER in winter weather. Ack. :P Still. Blue, but not for long. Lots to be grateful for these days.