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Monday, April 04, 2005

Phooey on NASA

Originally uploaded by scribecalledsteff.
Hubble's now destined for at least a "deorbit only" status. It's going out of commission.

Every single damned cool photo you've ever seen of space has been taken by Hubble. I'm really bitter about this. I clearly missed the memo on the bitchin' new multimillion-dollar space-cruisin' telescope that we're replacing the absolutely phenomenal Hubble with.

Oh, no, wait. Here it is. Here it is. We got one. Absolutely. The Webb telescope. Oh, doh! It's going up in 2011!

And we all know things go exactly as we plan.

Jesus H. Christ. Even the astronauts are all freaking out over this decision. To a man, they want it repaired and kept in action as long as possible. And it's their lives on the line to make that happen.

The government, though, doesn't think it's safe. When, for the love of God, did astronauts ever do the safe thing?

We're treating our astronauts like kids on the playground. No, Jimmy, don't climb up there! It's not safe!

One space shuttle blows and we clam up. For forty plus years, we've hurtled human beings inside a massive flame-spewing hunk of metal into outer space where there's no oxygen, no 7-11s, and an absolute dirth of gas stations, and now we suddenly start worrying about safety?

For crying out loud. The space program is about daring. It's about pushing limits. It's about trying to do what man still only fantasizes about. These astronauts are still heros. They're freakin' cool people who really deserve a lot more credit for what they do. They're our Columbuses, and in 400 years we'll still be praising them. Wait'll Lunar Landing Day becomes a stat. Get together, smoke a bong, listen to Dark Side of the Moon? Ahem.

And as much as the astronauts, Hubble deserves our praise. That telescope is the most incredibly illuminating thing ever invented by man. To just up and put it out of commission because the government's a pussy is just an absolute joke.

Come on, Bush. Here's a gimme. Save the frickin' Hubble and score yourself a couple popularity points. You're just enough of a whore to do it.