Not having it. Wanting it.
Wondering where it all went.
Wondering what I need to do to get my life where I want it to be. Whether it means selling out.
Cutting and running from a good gig to a real gig with real money. Working for the man on the side of working for the man.
Wondering why I spend money on stupid things that don't add to my life.
Wishing I had a little more discipline.
Being glad summer's here and more can be done for free or cheap.
Thinking a sugar daddy sounds like a good plan. Wishing my pride and integrity could look the other way so I could sell my morality for the best pice.
Wondering who the hell came up with the value system that says my time is worth X amount per hour, and when the hell I signed that.
Wishing I didn't feel this want.
Having no one to blame but myself. Knowing it. Yet, still.