The List of Steff

I’m not going to count this shit out. If I reach a hundred, whatever. If I don’t, I don’t.

I’ve been proposed to but have never married and never lived with a guy, and am in no rush for either. Particularly not marriage. Maybe never.

I don’t want kids. Period.

I have a brother. He’s weird.

I have a nephew. He’s hilarious. He’ll be nine soon.

I like papaya but mango tastes weird to me. Sometimes I like it. Kiwis rock. But strawberries are the bomb.

Dark chocolate, not milk. Really, really dark. Mmm.

I’m a coffee junkie.

When I sleep, I monopolize my whole bed but when that’s not an option, I sleep on the right.

I have no pets. The only pet I’ve had as an adult were fish. They didn’t take. I gave them the 21-flush salute. It was sad. One was named “Sushi.” Apparently fitting.

As a kid, I had a cat, a rabbit, a dog, fish, and a hamster. Believe it or not, they all died or were taken from me tragically. The dog was a long story. The cat was killed by a pitbull. The fish, well, you know the routine.

I don’t like perfume, but I do wear scented natural oils, my favourites being called “Tantra” and “Aphrodisia.” You do the math.

When I was in grade 5, I won a writing contest and got to be in a special group of school kids who got to sit front and centre when Pope John Paul II visited Vancouver in 1984.

My favourite movies include City of God, Donnie Darko, Casablanca, State and Main, and many, many more.

I don’t really like slapstick comedies despite considering myself pretty funny.

I played hooky like nobody’s business throughout high school and college. I once skipped three full weeks in high school and managed to talk my way out of it. “You know, we legally are not required to let you take your exams and graduate.” “Great, then I can not attend and waste more tax dollars all year next year. Did I mention I’ll get 85% without even studying?” And it worked. And I got 87% on 2 hours sleep in 2 nights. The boyfriend was leaving town for the summer. Sex got priority.

I’d rather be alone than in a less-than-perfect relationship.

I’m a concert junkie. I like it hard, fun, and good.

Among my faves have been Santana, the Kills, Wil, Matt Good, BRMC, Ed Harcourt, U2, and many, many more that I was apparently on too many drugs and am having trouble recalling just now.

My first concert was Tears for Fears in 1985. My favourite concert before hitting 18 was George Michael's Cover to Cover tour.

I've probably seen a couple hundred gigs or more.

My favourite bands of recent past include The Stars, Arcade Fire, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, the Kills, Interpol, Gomez, and the Von Bondies.

My favourite music of old include Pink Floyd, the Tragically Hip, Sublime, the Butthole Surfers, the Detroit Cobras, u2, Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, Nirvana, Oasis, Pearl Jam, REM, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Tom Waits, Vast, the Verve, CCR, and much, much more.

I once accidentally stole a camera. I had borrowed it from the camera store I worked in (we were allowed to) and on my second last day there, I showed up and my boss told me to fuck off. I sort of "forgot" to return it. It was an awesome camera. (Canon Rebel G.)

I don’t really have a favourite colour. I’m very situation specific with colours and aesthetics.

I’m a candle gal. Some nights I’ll have 20 or more going. “Ooh... she’s romantic.” Yes, I am. Quite.

I once was stranded clifftop with a boyfriend on a 6 foot-by-4foot ledge for an entire night when the sun set too quickly and we got trapped after our hike. It was fucking awesome.

I’m a good cook. Scratch that. I’m a great cook.

I’m a barbecue fiend. I’m an hour away from ribeye bliss.

I don’t drink girlie bevvies, never have. Red wine and beer, with the occasional hard alcohol for good measure. Martinis are good, though.

I love stargazing. Love, love, love stargazing.

I love latenight beach-bound conversations with good friends.

I love leaving for roadtrips long before the sun rises. I like being somewhere new when light finds me and the day.

The most important factor of a roadtrip is the music.

I love staying in youth hostels, whether I have money or not. It's the experience and the cool people and the chaos that turns me on.

I wish I could travel constantly.

I’ve never broken a bone.

I’ve shredded a few muscles, and every serious injury I’ve ever had has been on the right side of my body.

I’ve had three concussions. The last one took four months to recover from. The first one was GayBoy’s fault. Damn you, GayBoy! :)

I decorate a lot. I love my apartment and invest time in it when I have it to invest.

I’m an assertive driver and when in a car, I like to go fast. I’ve put probably about 400,000 kms on the five cars I have owned. (One was a ‘74 Mustang. Loved it.)

The place I most want to visit is Morocco.

The place I least want to visit is Nebraska.

My favourite smell is vanilla.

I have no particular favourite kind of man. Many men are sexy. Sexy, to me, is an indefineable quality. You have it or you don’t.

Poetry isn’t really my bag. There are days when I enjoy it, but they’re few and far between.

I sleep in the buff year round. The pluses of living alone. Lovely.

My favourite activity is biking. I have a Kona Muni-Mula, which they no longer make, but it’s fucking awesome. It goes like butter, baby, and is lime green.

So is my kitchen.

I’m a perfectionist and I’m very competitive, but I’m relaxed about it.

I don’t like roses. They bore me. I’m a wildflowers girl. And lilacs.

The most amazing things I’ve ever seen are the Northern Lights. I feel like I’ve found god every time I see them.

My favourite writers include Ken Kesey, Paul Theroux, Wallace Stegner, Chinua Achebe, Hunter S. Thompson, Mark Twain, Jim Crace, Pat Barker, Colum McCann, William Dalrymple, JK Rowling, Paulo Coelho, and Adam Hochschild.

I’m suspicious of people who smile all the time.

My eyes are green.

I don’t wear much jewelry. My favourite piece is a 70-yr-old platinum ring with a very simple design and three mini-diamonds that was my grandmother’s engagement ring. Once I was talking about her and twirling the ring and it snapped in two. It got fixed and is happy now.

I won a car once. A 1979 Chevy Monza. It broke down three days later, resulting in a chain of events that caused me to meet one of my best friends ever, Whipped Boy. (Hi!) That’s a story I’ll tell someday.

I’m not interested in men with fancy jobs and fancy cars. Give me a free spirit with a shitty old car and a zest for life, and I’m happy.

I don’t like bubblebaths. I like hot baths with oil. Lots and lots of oil.

I became friends with GayBoy because a guy we were both friends with became a dick and we needed to bitch about it. The rest is history.

I’ve lost about 60 lbs in the last couple years without really changing my eating habits. Exercise, mainly. Still have some more to go and now I’m finally behaving. Still, I’m cute!

I would love to take a woodworking course and learn how to make my own furniture. I have some designs in mind that I’d like to bring to life. I will do this by the time I’m 35. Guaranteed.

I had a barbecue at Charles Schultz’s house once. (The Charlie Brown creator.) He was one of the nicest celebrities I’ve ever met.

I sold Michael Hutchence of INXS a schwack of toys about three weeks before he died in his bizarre sex-strangulation episode. He was totally cool, too.

I don’t give a shit about celebrities, though. I’ve seen a lot of them, having worked in Vancouver’s upscale Yaletown neighbourhood for five years. The hockey players I always enjoyed seeing (yum) but not the rest.

When I grow up, I want to be happy.

When I garden, I grow herbs. Flowers bore me.

My dream house would be on the water with a lot of glass, a huge library, an arts studio, a woodworking shop, and a herb garden with wildflowers everywhere. There would also have to be an arbutus tree. That part is not negotiable. At least one. Preferably a weeping willow, too. A cyprus would also be nice, but that might be pushing it. A sexy man tied to my bed might also make it really feel like home, but hey.

Trees rock.

So does the ocean.

My family has lived on the ocean for several generations -- in Ireland, the Normandy coast, Prince Edward Island, and I’m the first generation to be on the west coast of North America.

Speaking of Ireland and PEI, I’ve therefore never met a potato I didn’t like.

I could never be a vegetarian. I scoff at them.

I came THIS CLOSE to going to culinary school a few years back.

I hate, hate, hate making lists.

I’ve written this in 55 minutes.

I need a beer.

I’m going now.