I Coulda Been a Gamer

So Gary Gygax died today. Or Mr. I-Created-D&D, as you might have known him.

The father of role playing.

Hmm. Ever wonder what would have happened had you turned a different corner in life? It's funny, almost everyone around me used to play D&D. Not me, never me. Tried it a few times. Thought it was really neat, actually. Had nothing against it. It was kinda like the singer Bjork. Sure, I can get the appeal, it just doesn't mean I get it, you know?

So, for whatever reason, the shoe never fit, and I never went that way.

And I was always kinda like that song by Jesus and the Mary Chain, in with the out crowd, man. I was in, but I was never really in. I was an outsider with the outsiders, 'cos I never got into cartoons or role-playing or anything goth. I wasn't very angry. I was always regarded differently because of I didn't "get" the role-playing and animation and fantasy stuff. Like, "How could you not get it? Well, you must not really belong here then..." So, everyone liked me, but I never felt altogether trusted. I was too mainstream.

Long ago, my mom told me that a fortune teller once informed her that it was her middle name "Ann" that prevented her from ever really drinking the hippie Kool-aid. It's what kept her just this side of being too left of centre, y'know what I'm saying?

So, naturally, I too bear the name of Ann in my middle moniker. I too am a little left of centre but not too much.

When it comes to my interests, my passions, I'm really not into suspending reality. I don't find fantasy enthralling. I don't feel compelled to leave this realm, and I can't really put myself in the mindset of being that kind of voyeur, I guess. I'm not into cartoons for probably much the same reason. I don't know. I don't make a habit of delving into the whys and wherefores of my dislikes or likes, but I rather just accept them for what they are... likes and dislikes.

But I sometimes regret that I'm so stoically content with my place and time in space. I'm all right with all of this "now" and "here" of ours. I think we potentially stand at the threshold of a remarkable age for mankind, and my living smack dab in the midst of it all is really a very fortunate thing. Why wish for something, sometime, somewhere else?

Because we can, I guess.

I wish I'd been more open to the possibility. I wish I'd been more given to dreaming of things that'd never be just for the sake of making them be, if even just in my mind. For the hell of it.

I'd be a better writer for it, for sure. But I guess that's why I do photography for an art, why I chose journalism and not creative writing. Very grounded in the here and now. Perspectives of the present, not askew views. Truth, not illusion.

Hmm. Heh. Ah, but for a name I'd have been a gamer, eh? Yeah, right.

Funny the things that get us thinking if we allow ourselves a chance to actually take that step beyond just hearing the news and instead start thinking on the news. Have a good afterlife, Gary. Good luck throwing them dice.