Gimme Strength or Gimme a Beer

Well, this is the week I hate the most every year, although I try to get through it upbeat and without wallowing. And I'm doing very well on that count. Got a lot done on the weekend, and, knowing my headspace was shitty and akin to making shitty emotional decisions, decided to lay out the groundwork for a healthy week.

The week's going as planned on that count. Sunday, I chopped up all my veggies for salads, and have had monster salads three nights in a row for dinner (with a little bread, my guilty addiction this week, but next week that stops). I come home, toss some already-chopped peppers, radishes, green onions, red onions, and lettuce into a big bowl with some shredded roasted chicken (bought roasted and whole) with my homemade spicy pecan dressing, and that's that. Oatmeal's breakfast, and lunch is tomatoey beans with peppers and Italian sausages, my own little concoction.

Not very imaginative, nor is it sexy, but it's one less thing to feel pissy and self-judging about in a week filled with old memories, PMS, a full moon, and a few things that need to be resolved. It's pretty heady convergence of cosmic mindfucks, and I'm just trying to pretend everything's tickity-boo. And, you know, doing a pretty good job of it, but it kind of feels like I'm eight and trying to ignore my brother when he's doing all he can to piss me off. Ha.

One thing finally got resolved yesterday that puts a nail in a relationship I'm really, really glad to be done and over with, and getting home to find the paperwork I've been waiting for was a huge relief. HUGE satisfaction to know that's dead and done for good.

The woman with the desk who's taking a couple of my pieces is apparently finally coming tonight. This weekend I'll be getting my scooter fixed up, I hope. New piston rings, new belt, carb cleaned again. Whew.

But by the end of this weekend, my furniture will have been rearranged, I hope, and my storage and organization quest will be pretty much over... something I've allowed to intimidate me into procrastination the entire time I've lived here. Yay for me.

The only regret I have so far this week is not heading down to the highrise to do the stairs today. I'll do them tomorrow and Friday. I figured I wouldn't have enough time to do the 20-30 minutes of stretching I need to do so it doesn't fuck me up, so. I'm doing nothing but a little cleaning, enjoying my coffee, and watching my Biggest Loser I taped last night. I'll be outta here soon, deal with my shit tonight, and then I'll know I'm almost done all the things I've dreaded doing for god knows how long.

THEN... new dread, new projects, but this time I'm ready to tackle them. Paint!! Four rooms, two months. Sound doable? Sure. Why not? :P

And even though I've organized everything and whittled shit down... my thinking is, I still have more of it to do and it'll be ongoing for the next several months as I gradually get more courage to throw out or donate more things I've got sentiment attached to -- especially since I've decided to keep this big piece that is huge on my sentiment scale. I've consciously told myself it means so much to me that I have to get rid of more little things that don't mean as much. So, I have a new normal to work from, and new considerations.

But it's great to have a new starting point, especially in a week I hate like this. When Mom's birthday rolls around tomorrow, I'll be able to feel pretty good about where I'm at after a few hard weeks of work around home, and hopefully this weekend caps it all with a few more achievements. I think I'll even pick up painters' tape so I can prep for painting next week. :)

Hey, great news though, is that I didn't realize my vacation pay had been accruing; I misunderstood my paycheques and thought I was being paid out for vac time. So, I can take a few days off in March and really knock this shit out of the park. That's wicked, wicked, wicked. I have a notion for taking three 4-day weekends in a row (which means four days off, plus the Easter long weekend), so I'll see if that flies with management, and if it does, zippity-boom-bah. Some paintin's happenin'!