Put DOWN the Knife, MISS.

Okay, so you missed out on all my hangover fun, but don't worry -- I was there in person and didn't miss a thing. Ow.

I have dubbed it The Worst Hangover Since Baker and The 40 Ounces.

Anyhow.

I just wanted to send a big "what the FUCK" out to the school that has suspended a kid 'cos she pulled out a steak knife at school -- in the cafeteria, to cut a steak.

Holy fuckin' Al Quaeda, Batman! Suspend that bitch! And, well, thank god they're watching the shop, because that's EXACTLY what they did.

She's ten. TEN. What's she gonna do, go all Jeffrey Dahmer on someone? "GIVE ME BACK MY POKEMON or I'll carve you like the fattened pig you are, beyotch!" Shit, man.

She's TEN.

Not only is she suspended... she's facing a FELONY CHARGE! Motherfucker! Does anyone-- anyone-- have common sense anymore? Jesus! An old friend said there was nothing common about sense, but, rather, it was rare. Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.

Obviously it's wholly extinct in Marion County's school system. Go, Florida. Way to combat school violence. Never again will a sirloin face such fears.

Wow. I'm glad I was a kid in the '70s/80s.

Oh, and in case you think I'm creative enough to be making this shit up, here's the sordid tale.