Hell Week's Over!

I've had a lot going on this week and it's been a trying time. I don't want to write about it yet, but I want to get it off my mind, at least. So here I be.

The long and the short of it is, sigh, it looks like I'll be out of work in two weeks. I'm lucky they're giving me a heads-up, 'cos they could just go and pink-slip me without any notice at all. Lucky girl that way.

I guess I've been loathe to write about it 'cos I don't want the "oh, I'm sorry" phone calls. I know people mean well, but fuck, man, those calls can really knock the wind out of your sails when all you're trying to do is keep a focus and positive headspace going on. So, PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU, friends & family, respect my wishes to not discuss this shit. I'm as good as I could expect, surprisingly better than I thought I'd be, and I already had the job search in swing -- one interview was Friday, another is Monday, and maybe there'll be more. One can only hope. I'm applying for a real variety. Something should pan out.

I know I had to look for work in an all hellfire rush last year, but there's a world of difference between where I was at then and where I'm at now. I was locked into a chemical depression already by the time my do-or-die job search happened. This year, I'm on as even a keel as I could expect to be, and I'm hopeful my attitude and belief in self will make all the difference this time. I think those doing the hiring can smell desperation, and it's a turn-off. I was desperate last year. This time I'm determined and hungry. I believe there's a palpable difference. And I believe in myself.

Anyhow. NO PHONE CALLS ABOUT THIS until at least Monday night. Why I'm bothering to post it, I don't know. I guess I've been thinking a lot today and I want to get a restful sleep, and I believe putting some of it down here is a good start thataway.

But this week sucked ass-- sort of! I fucking hate the snow! My job interview went well, I believe. I just hate the commute with the snow. I miss my scoot. I've been having email problems, computer issues, MSN messenger issues, and Saturday my goddamned website was down for about 20 hours, it looks like, if not longer. Only 140 hits compared to usually over a thousand. Yeesh! But through all the frustrations this week, I've managed to eat well, exercise a bit, and stay in pretty decent headspace.

Monday, job interview. Tuesday, meeting with a nutritionist to talk about my health and diet. Wednesday, a haircut. Hopefully more interviews will pepper my week. Things are about to get complicated. But I believe in myself more this year, and I know what I'm capable of. So, we'll see.

One of the coolest things I've seen on TV in awhile was a show about women and what they've learned as they've aged and one woman, Patti LaBelle or Aretha Franklin or someone, said that if she could talk to her younger self, the one advice she'd give her younger self would be "Believe the hype." This week, I'm trying all my damnedest to Believe The Hype. If it's mind over matter, then I gotta try with all my might to be of mind. Focus, baby. So, yeah, please, don't fuck with my focus. It's a shaky thing, man.

Meanwhile, I laughed at this:


And here's an incredible photo of a baobab tree. Little do you know, but there are places in the world I want to visit just for the trees. Magadascar for the baobab, and I want to traipse through the cork forests of Spain, and more, more, more. Banana trees in Costa Rica would be awesome, too. I'm really quite thrilled to have a remarkable jade tree of my own in my living room, which is pushing four feet in width these days. I once had a 3.5 foot wide aloe vera that was just remarkable, too. And I have a little pine tree growing (teehee) that I bought for Christmas and now has almost two inches of new growth in spots, in just two weeks. Cool, eh? I'm a tree geek. Sue me. I have no shame. None! Nada! Nyet. Newp. Geeeeeeeek.