For you, the dress code is casual.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Jesus Christ! PATIENT MUCH?!

So, GayBoy took me to see The Pursuit of Happyness with Will Smith tonight. Quite the thumbs up. Very much hit the spot for me, albeit seeing a flick about homelessness is maybe not the best move on the week one might be getting unceremoniously deposited on the unemployment line, but I was trying to focus on the "overcoming all odds" bit. The foodlines/missions, not so much.


As you may have noticed, gas has gone down by more than 10 cents in a week. 91.9 cents a litre's much better than $1.07 a litre, even in a scooter! So, the stations are bustling since people seem to fail to grasp that the barrel rate for oil descending below $50 means lower gas prices might be around for a while. They're descending on gas stations with great aplomb.

Me, I just needed gas so I wouldn't run out mid-span on the Arthur Lang Bridge as I made my way home-- I was at the 5-klicks-or-less warning line. So, we're waiting in line behind a van when I suddenly spot an open island. ZIP! Right in there like a dirty shirt. I've already got my debit card in there, getting my purchase validated, when this burdensome old Asian guy sallies over and stands right next to me, glaring at me, as I punch in my PIN number. Duh, privacy, anyone? Fuckin' PIN number!

His family's car (with five people still in it, sans oldie there) is slowly, ineffectively being reversed in a half-moon after they've clued in that backing into the spot would mean they could gas up on the opposite side of the island, where I am. They were on the other side of the lot from where I was, but apparently, just GLANCING at the open spot meant ownership. The guy was walking over to space-hold the spot, I guess, but I was already there and mid-transaction.

Nevertheless, the idiot woman in the car continued backing up. Inch by inch by bitter little inch, she made her way towards us. Now, here I am, putting all of $5 into my itty-bitty bike ($4.62, to be exact, a full tank!) and she's continuing to back up towards myself and GayBoy. I looked at the idiot man standing by me, glaring, and I said, "I'm here. I was in line and now I'm here. Stop her. I'll be done shortly."

He looks at me and does this, "You no line up. Line up!" Which is bullshit, 'cos I was in line at another dispenser, just like them. I just know how to move quickly. They hadn't even BEGUN advancing towards the dispenser when I zipped over.

So, SHE'S STILL BACKING UP. I'm finishing up, replacing the nozzle on the dispenser thingie, and SHE'S NOW WITHIN A FUCKING FOOT OF MY BIKE. Like, what? That's gonna magically make me go poof and open a vacancy for her? FUCK, man.

So. I laid on my horn. Like, five seconds. I mean, unreasonable behaviour begets same when I'm in Bitchy-Steff mode. I bellow, "YO. WAIT, woman! Get the HELL away from my bike!" Then I mutter, "Fucking people! Rude much?"

I suppose I somehow made her embarrassed or something, cos she pulled up a whopping two fucking feet.

I tell ya. Every now and then I wish there was a loophole in the law that would let me bitch-slap rude or stupid people into the middle of next week, but APPARENTLY the only avenues I have open to me are to insult them and/or honk horns at 'em. But thank the good gods I'll ALWAYS have my lovely, comfy cusswords, like MOTHERFUCKER, and MY HORN!

GayBoy and I were NOT rendered speechless by this occurence. Even he, and he's usually pretty restrained, felt compelled to yell some sweet nothings at Le Idiot Fam.

We were riding home in what's one of the dampest, chilliest places to ride at night, across the plains of the Richmond airport lands, and came to a stop, and I shouted, "I'm not even cold anymore! I've got my angst to keep me warm!" And we launched into another "HOW STUPID CAN PEOPLE GET" diatribe.

I tell you, I've let a number of repairs go on my scooter over the last year, but come hell or highwater, if my fuckin' horn breaks, I'll sell my goddamned blood to fix it same day. Ain't nothin' bringin' me more warm-fuzzies on that bike than the horn.


Oh, and my week didn't really suck ass, but I'm really, really, really starting to hate people after doing too many goddamned interviews this week. There's only so much one person can be "on". I was supposed to be at a party tonight but the notion of being social and pleasant was up there on the pleasantness factor with getting a root canal, having my ass kicked in competition, or being broke for a month straight, so I decided to pass.

I probably would've gotten the goddamned job I interviewed for Thursday... if I hadn't been a half-hour late as a result of the goddamned snow! I looked outside and the snow that had fallen was now all melty from the rain that was falling. So, I figured "Hey, I'll take my scooter!" Little did I know, it was still snowing just 50 feet higher in elevation than I was at. I couldn't take the bus now or I'd be late for the job interview (oh, the irony). So, I decided I'd take Cambie, which is slow as molasses with the construction that's going on for the new Skytrain route going up that corridor. BIG DAMN MISTAKE. It was packed ice! Apparently some tractor had gone up earlier and packed the wet snow into solid ice. THANKS for that.

I had to ride the whole way using my feet as training wheels. I finally get to the stupid interview nearly 30 minutes late, toting all my damned sopping gear with me, my feet wet through to the bone, and try to explain that punctuality's something I'm awesome at. I'd left 40 minutes early! It should take FIFTEEN MINUTES. It took me more than an hour! Un-fucking-believable!

So, I did what I could to salvage the interview (pity I had no cellphone on me to say I'd be late... whups!) and then I screwed off to work. I got there absolutely freezing, and spent the next 8 hours unable to stay warm, thanks to wet socks, wet shoes, and a bad attitude.

And so I'm still stuck in employment limbo. I MAY have a job still at the end of the week. Then again, I MAY NOT. Welcome to my life.

My fortune cookie after my Chinese food tonight said: "You will have great excitement in your working life." I groaned. "I've HAD excitement. I want dullness! Predictability! The same shit day in day out would be IDEAL! Bring me redundancy, repetition, but bring me reliability!"

But for now. I'm in suspense. I'm not sitting around hoping it all pans out, though, because the path of least resistance stopped being a good gameplan long ago. So, I'm doing what I can, and that's about all that I have to hang on to at the moment. It is what it is, my friends. And that's something I at least feel good about. Master of my destiny, or something to that effect. Or so I can try to convince myself in the coming days.

Oh, and I have a tank full of gas. Ha. Take that, Rude Family. Grr!

This rant has been brought to you in part by My Time Of The Month. Ah, the blessings of femininity. Mumblegrumblegrowlsnarlroar.