Insomnia sucks! And freedom for my ass!

Whoa, man! I got to bed somewhere, finally, around 3am. I thought I was having asthma problems, but no, I was apparently hit by mild food poisoning thanks to either,

A) the sawdust-inspired burger I had from Roxy Burger (what's with the fucking hype, man?! Go to Modern, or Templeton, or Vera's... Somewhere where you know the cow had fat and blood in its body at one point, 'cos that fucking burger was so not worth the effort. And who needs THAT MUCH mustard?!)

B) the popcorn at the theatre. But it had butter on it! :(

Anyhow, after suddenly vomitting everything I had in me around 2am, and then having my throat feeling like someone had gutted it with a filet knife, I'm feeling a little better. Three and a half hours sleep SUCKS, though, so I think a less-than-full day at the office is required.

I've got a note in writing now saying they're looking forwards to having me at my new job next week. Awesome.

And I'm just wanting to add how thrilled I am to now be able to sit on my couch in a t-shirt and panties and not have to pry my vinyl-adhered ass off the PVC bullshit I had for TWO FUCKING YEARS. Yay! I can slack in comfort! Add to that the concept of actual ass support and a firm seating area, and I'm bloody over the moon! I LOVE MY NEW COUCH!

My only regret is that I didn't do what I wanted to do -- which is to take a knife and beat the shit out of that old couch. I wrote a rant saying it was so great to purge flings and all that was connected to it, but it was also a place I spent a LOT of time depressed. Just sitting there, sinking into it -- sinking further into both the sofa and the depression. Getting rid of that thing is like purging so much of my last two years. It's weird, just having a new sofa feels like a new start. But it does. And that rocks.

Depress-o-meter: I'm pretty good, still about a 4 today. (On a scale of 10, with 10 blowing hard.) I'm worried about a friend of mine and his depression, but there's little I can do there. It's still on my mind a bit. I'm less worried about myself now, and that's starting to feel good. I'm glad I can go to the doctor tomorrow and say, "Look, I'm scared I'll fall back into that pit, and I really need to win this war this time, so I need pills -- but I've been doing this, and this, and this, and this..." So, you know, the groundwork's getting laid. It's all about steps, man. It's nice to see a little light for a change. I'm sure the light will get snuffed in a couple hours when all the fatigue in the world hits me, but right now, I'm all right with it. I wanted to cycle today, but I'm just too tired. I'll live with it. I told myself last night, "I really should exercise, but if I cancel cycling and go to this thing, I know it could be the start of something new for me." It was, it is, and while I pay the price of not cycling, I'll live with that. I'll catch up. I'm eating little, at least. Yay.