if wishes were horses and diplomacy were real

i've copped out of my evening plans to stay home and drink a surprisingly nice cab-shiraz, do a little writing, and watch a movie.

i was enjoying myself, actually, as the evening began to wear on and the wine began to kick in, and then i caught the headline story... israeli troops are amassing at the lebanese border.

shit.

ten years ago, i wouldn't have cared. but it's not 10 years ago anymore, now, isn't?

nope, it's a brave new world of terrorism, religious extremism, and highly heated tensions. it's a regular soap opera out there, friends, and i, for one, was hoping to be spared further drama.

this scenario? shitty. quel. but it's two guys taken by an extremist group, not a country's government, whether real estate had been afforded the faction or otherwise. yes, there are differences between an extremist organization kidnapping two soldiers versus another that has hijacked five planes, destroyed a dozen or so of the most expensive buildings in the world, and snuffed thousands of lives in an instant. do i think numbers count when talking human lives? yes. yes, i do.

and in this instance, you have two dudes kidnapped and suddenly an army licking the bootstraps of a neighbouring nation. it's a little fucking freaky.

and into that hellacious mix, let's just add regional tensions, the terrorism thing, and oh, oh, wait for it -- the rather obvious siding of US with israel, and whew, things could get toasty in here soon, no?

i really dislike most of the moments when i'm conscious that history is in the making. seldom is it for accomplishments now; usually just destruction, death, and catastrophe. and this is one of those times. it's not yesteryear. it's this year in which iran is toying with nuclear bombs, shit's been going down in egypt, iraq's body count is on the upswing, and syria's always full of hassle. i mean, the petri dish is brimming, ain't it?

and i honestly believe someone could've talked lebanon into expelling hezbollah if they offered a little help, you know? not now, obviously. now we dance, it seems, or at least play a lil' footsies. where the hell is lester pearson when you need him, eh? somebody get me some smelling salts.

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depress-o-meter: earlier, i was a six out of 10, with 10 being the lousiest. now, even in the face of modern war and bad shit comin' down if people start pickin' sides (over TWO guys? world war I was over one guy, and what the fuck did that do for us, huh? pissed off a fallen germany and got us another war is what it did for us.) now, i'm upgrading myself to a 5.5, and in a slightly cool breeze, possibly even a 5. the wine is improving. but mostly, i've actually done some decent writing tonight, plus, i filled three idea cards*. it's the latter that excites me. coming up with surplus ideas has been a long time coming, and shit, i love the feeling. if my writing comes back to me, but more importantly, my prolificity comes back to me, so too will a little of my joy. it's all about that, you know? i can always do other shit, but the writing does something for me. and it can be fun. mostly, it's an enema of sorts.
*in retrospect, it occurs to me that "idea cards" isn't homogenous just yet. okay, when i had really bad writer's block, my best idea was the idea box. it's a basic cooking recipe box, filled with blank recipe cards and a few pens. it's in front of the telly. i have a bill "spike" in my bedroom good for both receipts and for ideas that need germination. i stab 'em violently onto the peg and go about life until one day it hits, but how it starts is that something occurs to me when watching the telly or even when talking or playing with others. i don't just smile at myself all pleased i'm so clever; i write it down. evidence! it goes onto my desk, and when i'm hurting for ideas, or cleaning up on a day when i've blocked aside far too much time for cleaning, i'll tackle it. some great shit has come out of those idea cards, so while they may not be representative of actual work, they are representative of ideas -- of potential -- of some of the sexiest shit i've ever seen.