BLISS...

...is a new toaster oven.

AND I HAVE ONE.

Envy me!

Well, I'd show you a wicked-cool photo of it, but the morons at the Hudson's Bay Co have decided not to put their own house brand products on their website, so you're fucked, my friends. Just know this: It's so cool, so wicked, so awesome, that I may well never, ever use my oven again.

Yep. It fucking rocks. Toaster-convection oven, I should say -- not just a piddly little "toaster" oven. This thing's got balls, man!

This puts me at a lofty ONE out of TEN with TEN SUCKING EGGS on the Depress-o-meter. Who says money can't buy happiness? It can buy toaster ovens, and really, isn't that close enough?

(This bad boy's big enough to cook a 13" pizza in it, which I'm about to test. Fuckin' A! I just came back from the store, where I bought lots of things I can toast / bake in that bad boy: Pillsbury cookies, waffles, etc. etc. Woooooooooooooooooooot!)