Hi, I'll have a McFat with a side of French Fat, fanks

All right, so, fattest nations on Earth, right here in North America.

Pizza crust: With dip.

What the fuck are people thinking? Number one source of fat in America today? Salad dressing. How's that for irony?

You can't even eat BREAD without dipping it in fat? Jesus. Why don't we just start handing out defibrillators at birth? Yer gonna need this, junior!

There's this new show on TLC, "Honey, We're Killing the Kids!" and it's just the wake-up call America needs.

You buy Oreos, Cap'n Crunch, Jimmy Dean sausage rounds, frozen pizza, ice cream bars for hot days, and we wonder what the fuck's wrong with out waistlines?

Wow. Ignorance. Bliss. All over the damn place, man.

Don't dip your crust. Please. Evolve past the age of 6... I beg you. And so does your future coronary condition.