A Coffee Break (Hi!)

I've been searching off and on since last night for one of those old black-cat "restricted" logos for movies that I used to see in my childhood. I tell you, there are few web searches I've failed at, but that's one. What the hell? Bah. I'll keep looking. If any of you can share, though, feel free!

Well, I hit bed around 2am last night. Guess I'm becoming more and more of a night owl. I got a comment on some posting last night off Smut, really enthusiastic, so I reread the posting, was pleasantly surprised that it read better than it felt to write it, and thought "Hmm, wonder if that's been the case more than I think of late..." So I started reading other stuff.

You know, it was a really pleasant experience. I liked most of it. Even found one good quote.

See, the last time I'd really read anything was, what, a month ago? Or so. I'd gone through some of my archives (about 6 months of work), and then I stopped when it began getting depressing last year. Just had nothing to say, and when I did have something to say, I said it poorly.

But reading decent writing from the recent past is really empowering. That my traffic's picking up is just icing on the cake. I'm getting it all done, though. I've added more advertising options to my blog, fun quotes reflecting various writing modes and sentiments of mine. I've tweaked the layout in bits.

The project for the next few days is to learn about adding DIGG and other webtools to Smut.

The traffic here... snicker. I probably get 3-4 dozen hits a day. Know what? I'm good with that. Mostly people I know personally, stuff like that. I don't care, I'm not writing for anyone here. I'm writing for myself, just journaling for the hell of it. Keeps my head straight. And I'm not sure I want this blog popular, anyhow. I like its lowkey status. Keeps it a simple hobby for me, like mental enemas or something. Get it out, get on with things.

But I have big goals for the other blog. To be finally getting it all together after two years of neglect is very, very uplifting. Maybe I can be more than just a legend in my own mind.

Ah, well. I'm getting somewhere with it. This is good. I've probably spent 10 hours doing blog stuff (not writing) this week, and it really does show. It's proving to me that if I take a little more time to apply myself to it, that's all that's required. It's really being a second job for me right now.

My home, however, looks like shit because I've been ignoring everything outside of the blog and working out. I'm accepting that these might be the prices I pay, and I need to decide what's more important right now to my sense of self-worth. Exercising and blog, yeah, they're top of the list right now.

Too bad choices need to be made, but it is what it is. At least progress is being made on all fronts now.

Work's quiet and I'm being allowed to go slow and neurotically on the digital stuff I'm learning, which is wicked cool. I don't want to hand in sub-standard work and use the excuse that I'm learning; I'm learning new methods, but the grammatical basics and fundamentals of captioning still apply, and I'm well-versed in both of those, so why take the easy way out on new work, right? Right.

But it's hilarious, the bosses are so, you know, "Oh, do what you can, you'll pick it up sooner or later" and mellow about it, no pressure. I think they must feel like maybe they're putting the pressure on me or something, but, no, I'm just built by Neuroses, and Ford tough. It's how we roll. I know what I can deliver, and it pisses me off to deliver anything less. I get angry when I'm not allowed or able to work to my standards, whether it's because a client doesn't follow specs or because I'm foiled by new media, it really doesn't matter. I'm neurotic. I wear it well. See?

Ha. Yeah, well, whatever, I'm not thrilled to work today but that's 'cos I'm too motivated to get other things done, and work's kind of that thing standing between me and VICTORY right now. There, I'm over it. Off I go.