HOLY EYE-OPENING MIND-FUCK, BATMAN!

FIVE SACRED MINUTES to spend with my couch before I rush off to play soccer for the first time in years!

I whipped by GayBoy's Starbucks and he shared the "nutritional analysis" of all their food with me, and I'm HORRIFIED. It just shows me how ignorant I've been all my life.

The coffee cake I once loved and ate 2-5 times a week? 900 calories! And has been discontinued, thank god.

The banana loaf I thought was a "restrained" choice and a reasonably healthy selection? FUCKING 400 calories! Just 80 shy of their delicious and honestly evil donuts.

No fucking wonder I was so goddamned fat. Duped by all these evil purveyors of fat, fat, with a side of fat. My GOD. Ignorance may be bliss, sure, but it also adds about 20 pounds a year. Holy crap!

Wow. I knew I was ignorant, but my god. I used to think a slice of banana loaf was better for me than a bag of chips, but it turns out it's exactly the same, if not a little worse.

Good! I'm thrilled I know! Weight loss isn't about willpower. Rely on willpower and your ass'll be kicked six ways to Sunday. It's about reprogramming and knowledge. That's what's working for me. (28 pounds lost now.)

Speaking of losing, I think I have a game of soccer to play. Gotta jet (and then suck). Thank god it's the energy I burn tonight that matters and not the score!