Movies! Live Free or Die Hard minireview.

Tee hee. And the slack continues. Today's lack of ambition and ridiculous nothingness is brought to you in part by...

Live Free or Die Hard!

Enter the most ridiculous of the movies, but also the best one next to the original, methinks. Die Hard, the classic that began the series, is still one of the best action movies ever made. Smart cops and smarter criminals. Showdown at Nakatomi Plaza! Just call me Roy. Yippee-kay-yay, motherfucker.

This one follows suit, using someone I think is way underused in Hollywood, Timothy Olyphant to play the narcissistic cyberterrorist bad dude. He rocks. Going grey now, and how sexy is that on a hot young thing? And McClane's still the original bad-ass, but the one review I agreed with was that, in the original, McClane's limping around with a bloodied foot all cut to hell by a floor full of glass, and in this movie he's bloodied but invincible. (His sidedkick, Justin Long, is quite overdue for his shot in the movies. He stole the series Ed several years ago, and finally got his claim to fame in commercials as the laidback "Mac guy". Does a terrific job in this flick.)

The special effects and shit in this movie are just ridiculous. I mean, this movie seriously needed more "Do you think that's over the top?" round-table meetings, dude. Half the action sequences you just know the guys were sitting around with a bong, just saying "Yeah, but, like, dude, get this -- what if we have a jet plane trying to take out a rig on the highway, and, like, fuckin' McClane's driving the thing, and, DUDE, this could be so extreme, but what if--"

I mean, the shit with the helicopter, the jet plane, the semi trailer, and, oh my god, the elevator shaft? Like what part of plausibility applies to any of these things?

But... who gives a fuck?

This movie's a perfect example to what happens when you answer the proverbial question of "Why?" with "Because I can."

Why blow up a helicopter by hitting it with a car? Because they can. Why do that shit with the jet plane chasing the rig? Because they can. Why have a game of tug-of-war with a car suspended in an elevator shaft? Because they can.

Why put it all together in one ridiculous reality-suspending implausible romp of a movie?

Because they could. So they did.

And as stupid, implausible, ridiculous, and over the top as this movie is...

...I love it. I fuckin' LOVE it.

Tee hee! And there's 52 minutes left. (Saw it in the theatres -- died laughing.) Oh, and happy new year. :) Go, McClane, go!