UH-OH.

Moths! I've seen a few... gypsy-ish looking ones. I think my dry goods may be at risk. Tomorrow morning, apart comes the pantry. I was already planning to get a few kitchen essentials at Ikea: plastic and glass storage items are on the list.

God. I hope this isn't what I think. BAH.

Well, I've been planning to take stock of where I am dietarily. This certainly motivates me to do so in a thorough manner.

The pantry will come apart. The fridge will be cleaned out. Sigh.

I foresee this not being a cheap measure. Does anyone know if I should be chucking spices, too, or are they not likely to be desireable moth homes?

Blah.

BLAH. Motherfucking blah! Grr!

"But when you're done, it'll feel incredible!" Yeah, yeah. But this is the fear and loathing stage. Apprehension. Dread. Hell, plain old heebie-jeebies. Bugs SUCK.

Must. Get. Rubber. Gloves.

I will be unclean. Icky! Bah! And even the WATER is blah! Have a shower -- it's turbid water. Unclean.

It's like a horror movie. Insert the screechy organ music here. Woman shrieking. Rapid zoom-in close-ups of things like... a moth. Larvae.

WAH. Why ME? The horror. THE HORROR.

I'm about to get medieval on some moths' asses. I'm setting the alarm for 7:45. Too bad, I can't go to Ikea now. I'll go to Superstore at, like, 8:15. Cleaning products, gloves, paper towel. I may go for overkill and get some bug spray.

Then, storage stuff at Ikea. Never again. Never forget.

Like I needed a bug epidemic on my last weekend off. Yeesh.

I should come with my very own soap operatic theme music. Some days, man. Good god.

Down with moths. Huzzuh.