yawn. morf. oomph.

i'm capitalizing on the fact that i've not really adjusted to the time change just yet, and hitting the sack early. i've had an accomplished weekend. for the first time in a long time i feel like i'm not that far away from taking back control of my home.

for a long time it's felt like i've been not even managing to maintain my place. it's felt like "rustic american crackhouse," and not "home" for far too long now. several loads of laundry, a cleaned-out oven, lots of minor cleaning, and things still look unkempt, but i know that's just surface. so, i'm gonna keep doing my thang over the next while and maybe i'll start really feeling like i'm not spiralling out of control any longer.

it's been feeling like everything's been out of my hands since early july now, ever since i was "laid off" and then rehired at that stupid fucking job i hated. when that happened, it was just the last straw. i think i emotionally just gave up and went into survival-only mode. slowly i'm returning to the land of the living.

i did some podcasting recording earlier and stayed on topic, but haven't listened to any of the finished product. now i need to start editing it. i've had a hard time getting myself to be on topic for a while. i wasn't feeling like talking about relationships or sex, so doing the podcasting was really hard to gear up for emotionally or intellectually. now, though, there's the craigslist thing and i have some fodder for topics. it felt better. i have no idea how much i have that's useable, but i spoke specifically on four different topics and now have to edit over the next week.

but, tomorrow's halloween. i'm taking my camera to work with me and plan to come home via Commercial Drive in the hopes of getting some cute kid photographs in some of the more characteristic parts of that neighbourhood. i doubt i'll make a long detour of it, but maybe an hour. who knows. could yield something great.

weirdly, i'm remembering these cool bikes decked out with halloween lights from the other night and now i think i'll watch E.T. when i get home and relax tomorrow night.

god, it's feeling nice to have two reasonably accomplished weekends in a row. i hope i can continue this for a while. just barely keeping up with the speed of life doesn't feel that rewarding... this, however, does. and i also now have about five pounds of roasted chicken meat to feast on this week, too. not too shabby.

next weekend's ambitious goal? organize the storage room. if i can do that, there's about a dozen things in the living space that can go in there, and the rest of my space will feel a little more like it's mine. i'm setting one goal per weekend over the next while in addition to everything else i have going on. it seems to be working.

funny thing is, now i don't give a shit if any of these craigslist guys pan out. i haven't had the time to deal with it all, except for one, really, so we'll see what happens there. but if it doesn't work, well, i'm enjoying my life in my space again, and that feels like a great start to things.

huh. to bed at 10:07. not bad. could be a well-rested day tomorrow. last night i slept like shit, considering how bloody cold my place was. (coldest night of the year so far. brr!) tonight i'm better prepared.

yawn. indeed. [insert wookie-cry type yawn here] mmf. and, without ado, adieu.