yawning... again.

it's just before midnight on a friday and i've just had a good long soak in the tub. i'm tired, quite. i worked barely shy of 10 hours today with only a 20-minute break to wander off for a coffee, slice of reduced-fat marble cake, and some fixings for supper -- which wound up being a garlic-intense mock caesar salad* with garlic-intense garlic bread.

garlic lowers blood pressure temporarily if you have it in large doses, so it's almost a relaxant. i'm very relaxed, except for a couple knots in my shoulder from working two long days in a row. but they were good days.

the long days mean i work only two hours tomorrow, which means i'll have two full days off.

i dunno what it is, but i'm feeling very, very on my game right now. my timing's really good for doing the whole posting-a-personal-ad-on-craigslist thing, because i suddenly have a lot of fodder for a podcast. i'm pretty certain i can bang out 15 minutes of quality material on sunday and monday now, and should have the whole thing in a lock.

i've felt pretty disconnected from myself for the last while, and doing a podcast has been a challenge. something about being a relationship writer and not getting romanced doesn't exactly jibe. not that i'm getting romanced yet, but the prospects are improving. still, you know what? i don't really care if i hit it off with any of the respondents to my ad or not. if i do, great, i'll love it. if not, well, i'm feeling happier with myself than i've felt in a long while, so, i don't really need that external approval that comes from being adored or loved or cherished. i'm doing it for myself right now. i've begun losing weight again, which is cool, and my skin's looking nicer, and i'm starting to eat better. it's like my universe is coming back under my control.

steff the universal dictator, controller of the cosmos (or something like it) seems to be back in action. things just feel right. i couldn't really explain it if i tried.

but, y'know, a little love and affection could go a long ways, too.

earlier, i fixed an ad for "smut wear" merchandise, but now i have to clean up my webstore, and then i can get that game on the go next week, too. it's coming near time that everything's going to be all together in a good and decent sort of way.

i'm optimistic, and i'm liking the new, improved, better-night-vision steff. she's good company.

mock caesar salad:

1 or 2 tablespoons good olive oil
two big cloves garlic, minced

combine the above ingredients with:
muchos romaine torn in bite-sized pieces

add sea salt and cracked pepper to taste, toss

in a separate dish, combine:
juice of one lemon
and
a few drops worcestshire sauce
or
1 tsp good balsamic vinegar

pour lemon mix over lettuce, toss
add grated parmesan
and, if you have it, shredded roasted chicken
mebbe a wedge or two of lemon
croutons, if you want
serves one hungry steff

(best croutons: cube day-old baguette or even bagels, melt a couple tablespoons butter with some cheap olive oil in a frying pan, add bread, toss to coat, sprinkle with some garlic & onion powder to taste, a bit of pepper and salt to taste, and saute over medium heat, turning every minute or so, until crispy. sometimes i get pedestrian and add dried basil.)

enjoy.