From Grumpy To Not

It's been a shitty year for money, and instead of facing up and dealing with finances as best I could, I have often done The Ostrich: Buried Head, Ass Up.

Today, I've tackled the mountains of paper that have littered my home -- paper that reveals what I already knew: I can be an avoider. Tonight, I shall organize some more of my place, but the papers have been sorted and now they have been filed. Perhaps I shall celebrate by cleaning off my beautiful desk and oiling the wood, something it's needed for some time now.

I've been In A Mood all day, and it's ebbing now, receding off into nothingness, exactly where it belongs. Moods come, they go, but I feel it's important to own them. You feel shitty? Don't fight it, go there, but know when to leave it behind.

So, I'm leaving it behind now, with the help of a nice, supportive call from The Guy, a few glasses of water,* I feel fab.

I'm still a little grumpy about a few things, but it's nothing I can do much about. Money, I mean, it is what it is. I know the hole I'm in, but I also know it's one I can climb out of. I try not to hide from my reality, but some days I manage to do it too well. Bills in the mail? Let's not open those. Let's put them... here. And let's put that wooden box on top of it. A-ha, hidden now. Perfect.

Yeah, great management skills, Steffi. Funny thing is, I'm not THAT behind. I'm just not living in the present, if you know what I mean. Oh, well. Soon. I know I'm on the verge of it all.

But a little organizing will go a long ways tonight. I'm sort of starting a new phase in my life... a return to Good Health, the finding of a Good Man, the onslaught of the Good Season, a dedication to Good Activity, all of that. Organizing the house is a Good Way to salute it. So, organize I shall. (Naturally, it will take me weeks, heh, but the ball shall be rolling.)

(The Boyfriend thinks I'm weird because of my beliefs that food influences mood. This coming from a self-professed foodie? Mmf. What, does this make me a FooMoodie? Maybe. Whatever. I go whack if I've become dehydrated, and I know for a fact now that I was, all day. I had about 4 large glasses of water in the last hour and the headache that has dogged me all day, and the sore eyes and lethargy, they've gone far, far away. Knowing water affects me so profoundly doesn't always mean I'm smart enough to do anything about it. It's good to be reminded. I feel really good now, so, there you go.)