Of Knees and Needs

My weekend lightened up a lot last night when I found out a friend (and his wife) was sick, so we've postponed gutting my PC until next weekend. Now I just have one full day, not two, and I'm as chipper as can be about it.

I stayed up until three or so in the morning, and slept in till just shy of noon... yay. :)

I'm thrilled. Last night I went to the gym before the movie, and for the first time ever, I could do more than five minutes on the elliptical trainer (aka crosstrainer). No, my cardio isn't THAT bad, thank you very kindly. It's a knee thing. My knee always felt highly unstable on the trainer, like it'd pop without much notice. It's always been pretty disconcerting. I'd never do the elliptical trainer in my pre-four years ago fat life, so I don't know what it might've been like when my knee was good.

Until now. :) Last night was no problem. I'd already done 20 minutes on the bike and five minutes rowing, so I kept the trainer to 10 minutes, but now that I know it feels GREAT, I'm going to make the trainer my first priority at the gym. Excellent. Very, very good.

And that's huge. You've no fucking idea. I've been highly conscious of my right knee not being the same (albeit still able to take a good beating) in the stability department, and I'm still conscious of it... but being able to do the crosstrainer will be huge in getting my legs strong in the inside and out so that my right kneecap finally stabilizes and acts as it should.

Four years plus of this... this "not able to do" certain things. Bullshit. Maybe kickstarting things with the highrise down the street makes the difference on the knee. What a splendid thing. Anyhow. I am at one with my gym pass.

Thinking of hitting the gym again this afternoon and tomorrow morning, then a day or so of rest. But I think this little "ohmigod icanfinallydoit!" epiphany moment thingie is going to play huge in being that one cementing event that makes me get all my struggles under control, or at least a focus that'll let me get past certain obstacles.

And unlike the old days and even recent days, my headspace is continually becoming more of one that's inviting change and, more importantly, challenge. Older, wiser, more willing to take chances than I am willing to lose opportunity, I think.

Anyhoo. Yay for the knee. Yay, yay, yay. I would love to be able to get my knee back. Looks like that's a possibility finally.