Get Your Rock-Soft Body Shakin' Down Now

Is rock and roll dead? No, you say?

Are you high? Look at the lagging ratings of Rock Star: INXS. It's in its fourth week now, and that show is pure rock’n’roll. Sadly, the stupid network brass think it's not pulling in the numbers, and they're considering banishing it to the net.

I call bullshit.

I think the network's got to market this. Keep going, retool it, change the set up a bit, and they'll have a winner.

The performances are quality, and sometimes even brilliant. They don’t have to do stupid fucking themes. They just do their shit, their way, with their kind of band: Four guys playing solid rock’n’roll.

These “contestants” aren’t amateurs. This ain’t no American Idol. This show cuts the puffery to a minimum. It’s about music, but more importantly, it's about rocking with a crowd. Even the performances are longer than Idol.

(There is, however, a 30-minute “At the Rock Star Mansion” show on Mondays, which I don’t watch. I think this extra program is what sounded the death knell for the show. I think it made it seem less serious, particularly to those of us in our 30s [I'm 31, sigh] who were into INXS in grade 7. What the fuck, people? Make it about the music and you got a solid gig.)

Idol versus Star?

The big difference is that the Stars are pros. They’ve been around the block and this is their big break after toughing it out on the circuit. They’re hungry, they’re desperate, they know their shit, and they know how to work the room.

Did I mention the sex appeal? Rock Star is Idol with sex, stamina, creativity, and confidence.

In short, it’s comparing porn stars to prom dates.

Sadly, the dicks are charging 99 cents a track for the music. I say, download it illegally. American Idol provides it for free. Stop gouging us.

Get happy. Get rocked.

I just did.

(And bonus points to you if you know the bitchin' cool alt-rock pop-guitar classic by Primal Scream from the title.)

Vote top blog, kids. They eliminated certain cheaters from the competition, which makes me giddy. Put me in the top 5 again. It's on the top right of the sidebar. Clicky-click!