There you are.

So, rumour has it that a few people are reading this blog. And now, now I've got evidence. Enter the slutty hits counter.

Yes. I feel shame. I got a counter. You know what that says about me, don't you? I need to know. I need to know there are people listening to me. It means I'm a spotlight whore.

There you have it.

And I know you're out there, people. I know you're there. How? Because I have night-vision goggles.

But you know what? I'd rather not break out the special equipment. No. Let's put the "special" in special equipment and save it for another day. Just like the hidden video camera above the bed. But I digress.

Look down. Yeah. Just a little lower. There. Do you see it? It says "comment." You'd think it was self-explanatory, but here's the deal. I know there are people out there who think that commenting is dodgy territory, that not everyone wants strangers commenting on their postings. But...

But that just ain't so. Having a comment field means you want people having a say-so. It means you like to be a part of a show. The comment field's an option. If the blog owner doesn't want you saying anything, trust me: You'll know. You won't be able to.

So that means? You should comment. I'm curious.

Especially if you've bleached your anus. I'd love to hear about how it's improved your life. I promise. I won't laugh. Really. I won't.