The Tale of Lost Keys AND A Salad Recipe

I'm having one of those moments where I think I'm a total moron.

And don't look at me like a freak because you KNOW you've done incredibly asinine things that make you wonder how a person as smart as you can be as dumb as that. God knows I have.

Many months ago, probably last summer, Gayboy decided that I was to be The Keykeeper. He rather cerimoniously presented me with The Emergency Key for his apartment... while we were both getting smoked up.

KNOWING my weakened capacity, I picked a spot I was sure would be synonymous with "Keeper of the Key", and then LOUDLY, OBVIOUSLY said to Gayboy that I was of weakened capacity, and he had to struggle to remember the location of the key, too.

He said, "Oh, that spot makes sense" and we both presumably cemented the spot in our psyches.

Yeah. Right.

For three weeks now, every time we hook up, both he and I start frantically looking through EVERYTHING because we cannot find the keys! Every tea cup in my china cabinet, every kind of box imaginable, drawers, and even humidors. No keys nowhere.

Keep in mind, I've even cleaned out all my cupboards in the last week -- found my spare building key, the spare scooter key, and even a key to a third bike lock. No keys of GayBoy. Nowhere!

Clearly I've failed in my key-keeping task.

I am not to be trusted.

By anyone.

Ever.

Especially if it involves keys.

Sigh.

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FUNKY LAMB SALAD

If I had rosemary or mint, this would've gone a whole nother way. Surprisingly, it sort of works.

Had lamb roasted on a spit at a friend's last night. She sent me home with a schwack of it. I'm not usually a lamb fan but I'm trying to think outside the box. Serves 1.

2-3 cups mixed baby greens
1/4 c sliver sliced orange & yellow pepper
1/3 c sliver sliced red pepper
1/4 cup smashed cashews
1/2 cup warm chopped roasted lamb

dressing:
1 teaspoon fancy mustard (I used a grainy gin-infused one)
2 tsp light sesame seed oil
1 tablespoon champagne vinegar
1 teaspoon honey
salt and pepper

Whisk together. Toss with salad. Serve on plate. Top with a few cashews for garnish, plus warm croutons -- recipe follows.

croutons:
cube 4-6 slices multigrain bread (I use "country grain" from Cobs or my homemade multigrain)
olive oil spritzer
seasonings as desired

In a medium-high saute pan, spray the pan generously, then add bread and spray generously again. Now season bread.

You can season the bread any way you like -- just salt and cracked pepper is nice. Garlic granules with s&p is great and my favourite way to go. Basil and oregano or any other spice combo works.

Saute 5-10 minutes, allowing to sit for the first minute or two after you season and shake well, then start stirring / flipping often / constantly. Tasty.

Next time I think lemon would be used with this recipe, but it's still surprisingly good. Oven-roasted tomatoes would also be a nice contrasting bit with this (slow roasted at 250 for 40 - 75 mins, drizzled with olive oil and salt).

And the croutons obviously are for more than one serving. Put the extras in a Ziploc for two to three days.