A Recent Conversation

The boss says, "This one's for you." Apparently the old office manager had shrewdly agreed to a survey about our "computer buying practices" in exchange for $50. All right, so I get on the phone, a little cynical about it all.

"So, your role there... you're the purchaser who makes decisions?"

"I can be the deciderer."

Surveyor chuckles. That's her job.

"Okay, and your title is?"

"My title? Office Chick, I think it is."

To my left, my boss is howling. She starts shuffling around. "Office chick," she mutters to herself, still chuckling. I think she was envisioning my business cards.

The conversation goes on. I can see as clear as day that we're so not who they want to pay $50 to for a computer buying habits survey thingiemajingie.

So, she moves onto the more serious questions.

"How many computer, being used by all members of your organization, would you say you have in the whole entire world?"

"The whole entire world?" I manage to keep myself from laughing.

"Yes! The whole entire world."

"Wow." [pause, dubiously] "Five?"

"In the whole entire world?"

"I think that's all we've got including space, too, actually."

She starts laughing.

"Five, huh?"

"Yeah. Not what you were hoping for, eh? They're running Windows XP, at least."

She laughs more.

"Yeah, I think we're gunning for some bigger numbers."

"So are we," I said. "But we're starting small."

But I lied. We have SEVEN.