For you, the dress code is casual.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Damn You, People! Be Smarter!

I'm doing torrent searches for Steven Wright, and the dude's nowhere to be found! How can people not appreciate his font of brilliance?! My GOD.

Anyone who says shit like this deserves infamy.

Some samples:

  • In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
  • Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
  • If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
  • Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
  • I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
  • When you're in school, and there's a fire alarm you have to line up in a single file line from shortest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
  • I went to a restaurant that serves 'Breakfast At Any Time.' So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
  • Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?