Riding the Waves!

Looks like yours truly is gonna be interviewed for the radio -- my media debut! Well, not really a debut, since CBC-Canada featured my blog on Zed, but since no one really watches Zed, it's part of the "If a tree falls in a forest and no one's there to hear it, does it make a sound?" philosophical realm.

This show, people listen to... by the droves. Downloaded by fiends, etc.

Is it okay to admit I'm terrified? 'Cos, like, I am. It's kind of like that fear I get mountain biking when I look at a really steep descent. "Ohmigod, my brakes are SO gonna fuck me up!"

Only, this time, it's my mouth that'll get me into trouble. I have no backspace in real life and I'm prone to saying incredibly dumb things sometimes. And on the flipside, I've been known to say brilliant things. It's really quite unpredictable, as am I.

It's still sort of an "up in the air" scenario. They've told me they want me, they've told me the time, they've told me the topic, but I've not actually spoken to them. I'm loathe to say the name of the program just yet, but it's live out of San Francisco, the wonderful Bay Area, and it's a latenight program. It'll be a downloadable podcast after the fact, so even if you're not Bayside, you can get your fix. If it happens.

And exacerbating the fear? I've just found out I have an ear infection in my phone ear! I suspect that, like most hearing aid people, there's one ear that works better for phones, and that's the right side. That's the infected ear. So infected, in fact, that the canal's nearly swollen shut and fluid's reducing the ability for sound to travel. In effect, I've lost 50% hearing in the past couple weeks. NOT good.

What is good is finally knowing the reason. I'm on antibiotics officially (which means I can't drink and now need to eat yogurt -- bleh! -- on a long weekend! GRR!) and it should clear up over the next week. The show's Saturday night!

But fuck it. Fuck it all. This is Step One of my Big Break -- radio! A show that gets written about in national papers, that's broadcast from one of the second biggest publishing center in the States! WOOOT.* I need to be SHARP, baby. I'm gonna drink gallons of water Saturday and talk to myself all day long to make sure I'm speaking clearly.

Have I ever written about that, my voice? Hmm. Maybe not. Since I wear hearing aids, as a kid I had a terrible speech impediment, which still haunts me in times of fatigue... I might stutter or dramatically lisp. I have a bit of a lisp all the time, which makes my name "Steffani" the bane of my existence, but my voice is reasonably deep for a girl (radio-sultry, let's call it, I think) and I can enunciate very nicely, and I'm very tonal (ie: the opposite of monotonous). It should be fine.

Keep your fingers crossed on both the broadcast and the ear infection, though.

You know what? I'm proud of myself. I feel damned good. The ball is rolling.

Which reminds me... that horrible freak-out post from about three or so days ago -- I had the funniest thing happen on the bike ride I took to try and clear my mind. I remember thinking, over coffee, "Fuck, it feels like I'm losing my marbles!" And, then, on the bike ride, about 8 minutes in, what should I find on the road? Two marbles. I grinned and thought, "Found: Marbles."

I then proceeded to lose one of the two, but I've still got the clear blue opalescent one, and it's in a prominent spot on my bookshelf.

(Just heard back from the producer -- she's waiting to hear from the star of the show if it's definitely a go. Fingers crossed! Even if not, I suspect it's inevitable. If it fails to go through, I'll write it off as good because of the ear infection. If it goes through, I'll say it's the start of something brilliant and I'll make it happen one way or the other, ear infection or no.)

*I hate boyfriend for getting me into the habit of saying WOOT. Bleh! Heh. But, then, I used to say "Woo-hoo!" a lot and it ain't much freakin' better!