Breasty Breaking News!

A heavily made-up male with monster fake breasts was found cheating on a final exam in Russia. It turns out he was "taking the test for a friend" and had worn the fake breasts to hide his cheat sheets.

But me and my crack team of informants, we've discovered that the benevolant scholar wasn't, as first reported, a young Russian male. No, it was the latest criminal enterprise of Michael Jackson.

Having undergone the plastic surgeon's knife yet once again, Michael has now become the buxom Amazon ho you see before you.

Ze boobies of legion are clearly a desperate attempt to gain publicity and potentially rekindle his sagging musical career, and test-taking by proxy is simply another cry for help. But who knew Jacko was a scholar?