Morning meanderings sans coffee

My mind is whirling in a million ways, despite it being my Friday morning.

Money is still the predominant theme, the axis my world spins around. I’m not destitute, nor am I in danger of missing rent, but I’m definitely hand-to-mouth these days, and a little behind on bills. How I’d love to buy some wine and fancy foods, have a luxury night in, let alone buy clothes or silly wants.

If you’re a regular of mine, you’ll know I’m not a religious person, but I do tend to be spiritual in my own way. Part of that includes thinking things happen for a reason.

I’m not happy in my job, despite it being a fun and neat way to earn a living. It does nothing for me creatively. All it offers are a few great coworkers. It was once a really lowkey place to work, but it’s become a little too bureaucratic for me in the last year, and it takes a little more joy out of my day than it once did.

The flexibility in the job is the best thing going for it. I go in when I want, so long as I can do my required hours. It’s perfect for a creative person.

But my lack of money these days-- a recurring theme. It’s so ominous, the way it seems like I keep getting a handle on things, only to find it’s slipped right out of my grasp once again.

It seems, though, like the world is conspiring to force me to be creative and come up with additional income. It’s almost as if my financial needs are finally forcing me to pursue my creative dreams in a desperate attempt to make cash, so I’m finding it hard to be angry at my constant lack of cash.

So, yesterday, casually ordering my coffee, I chatted up the Starbucks folks like I always do. But this time I asked about displaying my photography in their shop, a high-traffic shop in an expensive neighbourhood of the downtown core. I described it as being “more accessible, and more local landscapes” than what they have been showing. And I got a yes.

Now, I need to conjure about $400 so I can do a display. This is what my mind’s whirling on today-- a visit to the bank, how to convince them to feed me money. I’m charming and persuasive, and I’ll figure it out. I think.

In between all this are a couple other things. One is a query letter I’ve been trying to send out (I’ve been avoiding your email, Guyana Gyal, until I send it in) for about a week and a half, but the drafts have sucked. Finally, I wrote something workable last night. Tomorrow, I tweak and send. Tomorrow, I see the bank. Tomorrow’s going to be a big day for me, emotionally.

Taking any step towards what I want is better than I’ve done until now. It’s an exciting time, but it leaves me distracted.

I wish I could post what I feel is one of my best photographs to date, the one I took last Saturday that has inspired me to say "Hey, I could sell this shit, man!" It's b&w, wide on the city from the beach, a rocky outcrop in the foreground, the city across the water, low clouds mingling in the mountains, and the haze from a rainstorm that's falling only over downtown Vancouver, the buildings of which are lit from the west by some stray sunrays. Some skimboarders ambling across the foreground. All together, it's a perfect b&w composition. STUNNED me, really.

It didn't work in colour, but in black and white, it's the first time this has stopped feeling like a hobby for me in a while. I wish I could share it with yas, but the resolution is very key in seeing about 50% of the important detail, and reducing the res to protect my copyright destroys what makes it great, so there's no point in posting it. Sorry.

However, this photo was posted two months ago, and it’s still a favourite of mine, one that would be in my “show.”

Pop in on the weekend, when there’s bound to be several postings. Today and tomorrow will likely be dry, posting-wise, but hey. Girl’s got thangs to do, man. ;)

(This photo looks a lot shittier with low res, too, and it kills me to inflict substandard photos on y’all due to resolution, but I’ve got no choice. It’s all about covering my ass, creatively.)