For you, the dress code is casual.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

The Ammy Awards

Oh, this couldn't wait. This is just too good.

If you've read my shit before, you know I love the phrase "fucking amateurs." The word "amateur" conveys so much. So, we now have the "Ammy Awards." Enter award one.

I think we've all had those times in our early teens when we've done something brash, something borderline insane, just for the hell of doing it. I remember my brother and his friends plucking all the fuses out of a couple hundred firecrackers and tapping out all the powder, and fashioning a larger explosive. That this larger explosive was tossed inside the Neighbourhood Prick's Volvo and blew the interior all to shit is probably something I shouldn't divulge.

So, not wise, potentially dangerous, but an insurance claim later, and all was well.

Not so for these fucking morons.

A guy, 20, and a chick, 17, in the UK, got the brilliant notion to go and fill a couple of fluorescent light tubes with gasoline. They lit them and tried to film a lightsaber battle, it seems, in their frenzy over the release of the final Star Wars installment, Revenge of the Sith.

Our would-be Jedis are currently in critical condition. See, here on Planet Earth, glass shatters and flaming gasoline travels. And they do bad shit to human skin. I bet Stormtroopers woulda been unscathed, though.

Come on, say it with me: Fucking amateurs.

Let's keep the "fiction" in science fiction, kids.