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Saturday, March 12, 2005

How to Make Sound

I wear hearing aids.

I was born with a genetic hearing loss and have had hearing instruments since I can remember. I believe I was approximately two when I was fitted with my first aids.

As a child, my rather profound hearing loss provided me with a number of challenges, but the greatest of those was my speech. I saw video footage of myself at about three, once, running circles around my Uncle Joe, who was taping me. I kept shouting playfully, "Unnle Hoe! Unnle Hoe!" But it wasn't what I was saying that was playful, just my demeanour. "Unnle Hoe" was the best I could say the words. I spoke like a fully deaf child with nearly no hard, defined sounds.

I spent three years in speech therapy. One afternoon per week I'd be in a therapist's office, getting taught how sounds are made with our mouths. I disinctly remember the occasion on which I was taught my greatest vocal nemesis: The word "ax."

I slogged through the better part of an hour trying to pronounce the word. "Ask." "Ach." "Ak." I finally was able to sputter, "Ax," and I tell you, I still remember the relief I felt.

The year after my therapy ended and I was deemed "fit to speak," I had the dreaded Mrs. Potschka as my grade four teacher. Mrs. Potschka was famous for her hard-ass approach to the Christmas Pantomine, and when she was casting the characters for our class play, she'd have us speaking aloud at the back of the class. [Insert Nazi personality traits here.] "No, no, no. You're not speaking cle-ar-ly enough. You must e-nun-ci-ate. You must pro-nounce your vow-wels and con-so-nants."

Since then, I have enunciated. I speak clearly, loudly, and I daresay I've been known to boom. It's the combination of parents from the east and my years dealing with a speech defect that have left me with a bit of a huskier female voice and a nearly Bostonian twang to my tone. But I no longer have any audible vocal problems. In fact, it's the opposite. I'm very, very well-spoken in my old age (in my humble opinion).

Speaking of old age, I consider myself fortunate in one way with my present job, in that I help create the closed captioning for quality television programming that other persons with hearing loss will be using to try to add to their quality of life. It makes me feel good.

But even though I work with pretty enlightened people, it's amazing how often something will be said or done unconsciously that is almost an insult or belittling of the loss. There's still a lot of ignorance in the world towards what a hearing loss entails. I've dealt with discrimination and harassment in many jobs and "real" life situations. You get so that it doesn't bother you anymore, but it'd be nice if the world understood a bit more about it and the problems it causes.

I think I'd like to continue with a few more posts over the weekend or next week on the nature of a hearing loss. For some reason, it's not something a lot of people know about. I've found myself getting into detailed conversations about losses with many of the people in my life, and every one of them has had additional questions and has wanted to know more.

So, expect more. I'll write next about the fit of a hearing aid and the problems a poorly fitted one can cause not only in physical and practical situations, but in social and professional settings. Stay tuned.