Let's Get Digital, Baby

Turns out a nightclub in Glasgow has come up with a microchip to embed in its clients' arms (on demand only) that will allow them to scan their arm, pick up a drink, and deal with the tab later.

Better than that, if you have a pre-selected favourite drink, upon entering the nightclub, the bartender will be digitally alerted to your preference, and a drink ready before you can say, "Bartender, I'll have a..."

The corporate spinners are likening it to a digital wallet.

Me, I think it's just a freaky new stage in the sci-fi-meets-life saga. First cloning, now digital implants for consumer products? I'd heard this idea was in planning stages a while back, I just didn't think it'd come to fruition this soon. My ignorance was my bliss, and I simply failed to give it much thought. Now, though, it's here, and now I'm freaking out.

How long will such an implant stay optional? How long will it take for governments to decide that paper's a hassle, and these microchips will speed up all processes? How will you maintain control over when you get scanned, and by whom? Who's to say the consumer information trading that currently exists in business won't escalate with these chips?

Picture it: Company X sells its VeriChip-enabled client lists to Company Y. A fee is then paid by Company Y to have information pertinent to their industry then "piggyback" data that is scanned in/out of the chip-enabled client next time the client is scanned by Company X.

Sure, it's unethical. But when did big business let a pissy little thing like ethics stop 'em?

They have a term for these kinds of products that offer initial smart real-life applications, but then become intrusive and all-pervasive. It's called "function creep." Suddenly, instead of it just being a bar tab, it moves on to credit cards, debit cards, and next thing you know, you don't have a passport anymore, just this little rice-sized chip in your arm. A little too Mission Impossible for my tastes.

The only reason why an idea like this will ever even fly is because people just refuse to slow down. Thinking that "advances" such as these will somehow enable them to lead a fuller life, they're willing to foresake privacy and security, just to shave three minutes off a bar lineup.

The problem, though, is that not only do you eliminate your inconvenience, your privacy, and control over your own dispensing of information, but you also lose your spontanaeity. Just another symptom of a society moving too damn fast for its own good.

Two words, people: Slow down.