Adopt-an-Orphan?

Whilst tragedy and adversity often serve to make you a better person, it also tends to unleash periods of grave foolishness.

As a result of the media coverage of the disaster and the total sense of helplessness that we're all feeling, there are now scores of Westerners queueing up in the hopes of adopting a Tsunami-orphaned child.

Understandably, many child welfare experts are criticising the wisdom of this. Personally, I'd liken it to the notion of buying a puppy for Christmas, as crass as that comparison might be.

It seems like a great idea now, but six months down the road, who's to say?

These adoption-focused folks are all overcome by the horrific images of what these victims have thus far endured. It's understandable that we're all concerned, but it's crazy to let this sudden grief guide you to a life-changing decision like adopting a child you have no understanding of.

And unlike a puppy, you can't just suddenly sell them, give them to a shelter, or put them down. These are profoundly traumatized children that haven't just lost a parent, but everything they own, and their entire way of life.

To think that picking these kids up and bringing them over to the Land of the Free will somehow magically make them better is to delude yourself. Worse yet, it would be just another tragedy in these kids' lives. They would be losing the last things they truly possess: Their customs, language, and of course, their sense of place.

Further compounding an already tragic tale are the gangs of child-slave traders who are operating in the ravaged areas. This isn't a result of the Tsunami, but rather a longstanding regional criminal enterprise just capitalizing on opportunity in the midst of chaos. For years, these abductors have been duping rural, impoverished parents into giving up their children for a "better way of life." The children are then sold into the sex trades or sold into straight-up slavery. It happened before the Tsunami, and it will sadly continue to happen after all this passes.

I realize it's exactly stories like this that are prompting Westerners to want to initiate an adoption, but I'm not sure they've thought it all through.

One factor, for instance, that has apparently not occured to them is that some of the stricken nations' governments are now beginning to hope they might match orphaned children up with parents who have lost their own. This is the kind of remedy that could have wonderfully positive results, and allow the kids to maintain their sense of identity and place, as well as their language.

Coming here would just add more trauma to their lives. The life of any immigrant is incredibly difficult to get started, let alone the victim of a disaster of this magnitude. Imagine adding the constant struggles of assimilation to the daily battle of just coping with post-traumatic stress disorder. Is that really the way to help these kids?

We North Americans live under the delusions that just because we're a materially wealthy region, that we're somehow superior to other nations, but we are a bankrupt nation when it comes to history, custom, and heritage. We're young and flashy, but we haven't been around long enough to possess any of the cultural depth of places like Indonesia and Sri Lanka.

These kids need to hold onto what little identity they have left. It's what will get them through. Soon, in the days or months to come, all the people of that region will learn what an unprecedented outpouring of love and concern the rest of the world has shown them, and I assure you, it will count in ways we'll never understand. The kindest thing we could do might be to leave the kids in their home, such as it is, and allow them to reach the only closure they might ever know (considering that many of the "missing" will probably never be found), while they watch, and participate in, the rebuilding of their nations.

At least then they'll learn that after your world falls down, you build it back up, you don't run.