The Brave New Steff
When I think of jogging, I think of high school and the one-kilometre jog that would kill me every time I attempted it. I wouldn't learn until nearly two decades later that I wasn't just fat and out of shape -- I needed orthotics and should have had them long, long before. I have very little flexibility in my ankles, a non-correctable situation. I have maybe 60% of the mobility of a normal person's ankles. It explains so much of why I've always had the feeling of daggers in my calves when I walk much, and why jogging has been a hellish notion for me. My calves are pretty fucking huge -- think Popeye. They're as tight and pained as they can be, and on a daily basis.
Nonetheless, today I start jogging. Started, I should say. Not much, not far. Baby steps. Just a 15-minute jog around the neighbourhood. It killed me a little, but not entirely, suffice to say. I don't care, I'm going to keep doing it. One, it's free. Two, it's close to home. Three, it doesn't close at 5pm -- like the stairs in the highrise down the street. (Now that I work a 9-5 job, I can't do the stairs as the office hours are right when I'm working across town.)
But I can start jogging around the point near my work after I finish for the day, and around the homestead when weather dictates it a bad day to be on the water.
Mostly, I just want to stop feeling like I can't do what other people can. I just have a few things to prove to myself, I suppose, and think this is a good way to start doing that. I couldn't go too far on my first try, and I'm a little scared of what an impact sport like jogging (v. low-impact like cycling and swimming) will do to my body after all the injuries I've had over the years, but whatever. I'll go for another baby-jog this evening before supper to make sure I get a full 30 minutes of cardio in for today. Now I need to lift some weights for a bit.
I'm only now really getting over my bronchitis, so it's a good time to get active. Add to the mix only the second or third day of nice weather since the month began, and it's a double-nice time to get a new me on the go.
And I need to get my bike tuned up so I can begin taking that home from work soon, too, but that costs bucks that I can't spend for a couple weeks, unless WhippedBoy finally has some time on his hands to do something for me, but I don't see the skies parting over his world anytime soon, so I guess this one's on me. Soonish.
Hmm. Yeah, I think there's a world of issues in my head around my body and body image, all dating back years and years, and jogging's up there with swimming as being one of the sports that brings all my issues to the forefront. If there's any hope of my getting over them, then it's through confronting them and cutting them (and me) down to size. This isn't about being size 6. I couldn't give a shit about that. It's about feeling good, having energy, and feeling a little more comfortable in my own skin. Losing a little certainly wouldn't hurt. :)
Hey, it's a start. Starts are good. I'll still chronicle shit here. Everything with exercise came apart on me when I lost my job and got thrown into a tizzy. Now I'm starting to find a routine in life again, so maybe this is the time this sticks with me. Anyhow, weights beckon, and some yoga-ish stretching.
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