Some Velvet Morning

The Verve have some great moody classics, and Velvet Morning is among them. Whenever I roll over on a morning like this to find my bedroom awash in the reds and golds of a great sunrise, the song bounces into my mind. It's probably not a good thing, though, since the song's about as depressing as they come.

Red and gold, though. Awash in it. Buildings nearby are caked in frost after what was indisputably our coldest night thus far this winter. "Brr-fucking-brr," as I always like to say.

I've had a hard time recently. I've been avoiding writing for any number of reasons, not just here but on any blog I've written for. Life got challenging, and I'm the kinda girl that deals with what's on my plate. It's been frustrating. It's really hard watching my brother bumble and fuck around on the road to wellness. I can't write while life's on full boil. I just can't.

Back to my brother. Fact is, some people need to eat pavement. Some people need to do that tango with death. They don't have a fucking clue how good they've got it until it's all almost stripped away. My brother falls in that category. I suppose, to some extent, I did, too.

Head injuries. They're a bitch, man. You never really know where you stand with it. That's the brain for you. It's been three weeks, almost, since my brother was dealt his, and he's only now realizing how fucked he is. It'll be the New Year before he's back on the job. He's lucky he knows his fucking address.

We've been trying to help him around his house, where he insists on staying alone, but let's face it: Anyone with a head injury, stuck in a house in a not-so-reliable computer, no radio, no television, and barely any furniture, with no headspan for reading, is bound to get a little fucking antsy. Dude's been doing too much, too soon, and it's been really, really frustrating trying to support him without ripping his goddamned head off during all his idiocy.

Finally, though, I've made a suggestion that makes sense: Go to Gibson's. Stay with Aunt Eileen. For the first time in a month, I heard a moment of happiness in my brother's voice. Yes, little sister speaks wisely, it seems. Soon, my brother will be recuping on the shores of BC's Sunshine Coast as my aunt and uncle dote on him. It just doesn't get much nicer than Gibson's.

And I'll finally feel like things are going in a good direction. Man, it's been trying lately. I've been avoiding everyone, everything. Sometimes, it's all you can do to get through a day.

And now, today, a gorgeous morning with the sparkly goodness of a thick frost. A great day to have off. Like I do.