WTF?

Who in the hell steals pillow cases?

All right, I know they're a beautiful crimson/burgundy hue, and the flannel is oh-so-luxuriously cushy in these colder climes, but what in God's name is wrong with you people?

And the worst of it? I'm now uncoordinated. Sure, I have the fabulous flannel treatment for my body, but beige cotton for my noggin?

Oh, the inhumanity of it all. 'tis a cruel fate inflicted upon me, my friend.