Long before that stupid movie came out, that was my nickname with a couple folks I knew. Others said it with more colour, that I needed to surgically remove the horseshoe that was perenially stuck up my ass.
Fortune has often found and favoured me. So has misfortune. That's life. I've never become the self-pitying type as a result. Life's too short to see yourself as a victim. The negatives that find you aren't what you think they are -- they're opportunities to excel. They're opportunities to be that person you always hoped you'd have the balls to be.
This week, I have that opportunity. I've had some interesting happenings this month, from good to bad to everything in between, and I love the dynamic swirl my life has been -- now that I'm out from the nebula's center and can see it for all the splendid colour and craziness it has to offer.
It's all so odd how pieces of your life seem to be falling apart, but when you get a little distance and stand back from the painting, you see they're falling into place, not apart, but you had to abstract it to see the unity of it all. Life really does imitate art, not just in its aesthetic, but in its treatment of truth.
Lately, I've lost clients and have had others recommended. I lost photos and expensive programs off my hard drive and had to visit a friend from a couple months ago to get new programs so I could start printing resumes to find a job that would compensate for the unstable clients once I no longer have the government cheques to fall back on when things go awry. This friend told me about a course he's signed up to take, one that I'll tell you all about in a moment.
There's been a few other things going down, too, but in a strange way, they've all been tied up into one strangely delightful package this week. This fall's been an interesting time for me. I began teaching students on the university campus and found myself resenting the fact that I'd never really enjoyed school when I've had the chance to do so. I found myself wishing I had the opportunity to go back to school, but knowing I was over 30 and had to support myself made it all so improbable.
Now, though, I've found out about a start-your-own-business course offered by the government. It's 48 weeks, teaches you everything you need to know, provides you with assistance for developing a working business plan, helps you get yourself on your feet, and provides you with a spending allowance while you're in the program. In addition, unlike other forms of social assistance, every penny you earn from your business is yours to keep without having to be penalized with the allowance. How cool is this?
Fact is, working for other people has been killing me. Some "employees" out there may find it offensive that I seem to think I'm better than that, but that's not the case. I'm a driven person who has never, ever been utilized to the best of my capabilities by the people I've worked for. Nothing I've ever done has been the kind of thing that best uses every skill I have. I'm dying for the opportunity to really live according to my talents and abilities. I'm dying for the chance to prove I do or don't have what it takes to get to where I think I can be.
For once in my life, I need to know if I can put my cards on the table. Really, really play the game. The kinds of dreams I have aren't the kinds that come to life between nine and five. It's time to see exactly when it is they do indeed come alive, and whether I can breathe that life into them.
Things are getting fun. Tomorrow, step one on this new path. I do love the excitement of it all, I got to say.